Runaway Groom
by SIGF
Summary: CM story. What if Ross and Phoebe had not found Chandler on Chandler and Monica's wedding day. Will Monica be able to forgive him for walking out on their wedding day? This is heavy on the angst [in progress]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Friends, but thanks for asking.

**Author's Note:** This story takes place in Season 7, during the episode where Monica and Chandler get married. The difference is that Ross and Phoebe never found Chandler. Will she forgive him for walking out on her, or does this meanthe end for our favorite couple? Read to find out. And please review to let me know if you like this.

**Scene:** This takes place during the scene in the episode in which Monica wants to get ready for her wedding, but Rachel is trying to prevent her from getting ready while Phoebe and Ross look for Chandler.

* * *

"What's going on?" Monica asked. Something wasn't right. It seemed like Rachel was trying to stall her. 

Rachel took a deep breath. She hated that she had to be the one to break this to Monica. Monica was her best friend, and she knew the pain that this would cause her. Rachel would kill Chandler for doing this to Monica, once they finally found him. "Okay. Alright. Honey listen. When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you," she said, hoping to soften the blow.

"Okay, you're- you're really freaking me out," Monica said. She could tell by the way that Rachel was acting that something was wrong. Horribly wrong.

"We can't find Chandler," Rachel told her after a long pause.

Monica laughed nervously. "Okay, haha Rach, really funny. I get it, no matter how bad this thing is that you're going to tell me, it could be worse. Now tell me what's really wrong."

"Mon, I'm sorry. Chandler took off last night. Ross and Phoebe have been looking for him, and I was supposed to stall you. He left a note. It said 'Tell Monica I'm sorry.' I don't- I don't think he's coming back tonight." Rachel wanted to cry. She couldn't stand the thought of what this would do to her best friend. But she had to be strong right now. Monica needed her.

As Monica let Rachel's words sink in, tears started to form in her eyes. She didn't let them fall, though. She just stood there in shock. "Oh," was all she could say in reply to Rachel's revelation. Rachel went over to hug her best friend, but Monica moved away.

"Mon?" Rachel asked. "Can I do anything for you?" She wanted to help. There had to be some way that she could help. She knew that Monica was holding everything in, trying not to break down in front of her.

"Could you just go please? I need to be alone right now," Monica whispered weakly.

"Are you sure? I don't know if that's such a good idea," Rachel said with worry.

Monica just looked at her with tear-filled eyes. "Please," she begged.

Sighing, Rachel consented. "Fine. But if you need me, for anything at all, you know that I'm right across the hall, right?" Monica just nodded. "Okay, well, bye Mon. I love you," she told her friend as she let herself out of the apartment.

Monica was too consumed in her thoughts to even notice her friend's exit. Chandler had taken off. He didn't want to marry her after all. Did she do something wrong? Didn't he still love her? Today wasn't supposed to be like this. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. How had it gone from the happiest to the worst so fast? Monica thought about all the guests showing up, how they would be told that the wedding was cancelled. She could never face any of them again. And what about her future? Just moments ago she had everything to look forward to. Being married to the man she loved, starting a family. Now she had nothing. She had nobody. She was all alone. And with that thought, she could no longer control the tears. She slowly sunk to the ground as her body heaved with heavy sobs, knowing that nothing would ever be the same again.

* * *

Chandler looked at the clock on his desk. It was 5:00. In an hour, he was supposed to be getting married. But that wasn't going to happen. Even if he wanted to change his mind, he couldn't now. It was too late. He was sure that Monica had been informed of his disappearance by now. He knew that she'd be devastated, and wondered if he could ever look at her again after knowing how much pain he caused her. 

He was a bastard. There was no arguing that. Monica didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve him. She could do better than him, he had known that all along.

Chandler justified hurting her by thinking of the pain he'd be saving her from if they actually had gotten married. The Bings had terrible marriages, everybody knew that. His mother and his father hated each other. He couldn't let that happen to him and Monica. Marriage, as he understood it, meant the death of love. That's why the divorce rate was so high. Hell, look at Ross. He was only in his thirties and was already divorced three times.

But what about Monica? He wasn't ready to be married, he didn't know if he'd ever be, and he knew that she couldn't wait forever. Was he really ready to just give her up? She was everything to him. He didn't even really know what happiness was until they had gotten together. She made him feel alive. And as he sat there, thinking about all this, he realized that he couldn't live without her. "Oh God, what have I done?" he asked and put his head in his hands.

* * *

Ross couldn't believe it. He didn't find Chandler. He had failed his little sister. Phoebe lightly squeezed his arm as they entered Joey's apartment. 

"So I'm guessing you told her," he said to Rachel, who was just staring forlornly out the window.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "You guys still didn't find Chandler?"

Phoebe shook her head. "No, and we finally stopped looking. The ceremony is supposed to be in an hour. Even if we found him now, it would be too late to get everything set up."

They all just stood there in silence, not knowing what to say. This day would have major consequences, not just for Monica and Chandler, but for all of them. How could they ever forgive Chandler for hurting Monica like this?

"I swear to God, the next time I see Chandler I am going to give him that ass kicking I promised if he ever hurt my sister," Ross said angrily. Normally Phoebe and Rachel would have laughed at the thought of Ross kicking anyone's ass, but today was not a day for laughing. "Anyway, I'm going to go check on her and make sure that she's okay," Ross told them.

"I'm going to go find Joey and let him know what happened," Phoebe said. Rachel just nodded and continued to stare out the window.

Ross walked over to his sister's apartment and let himself in. He didn't see her anywhere so he assumed she was in her bedroom. The sound of light crying confirmed his suspicions and he knocked softly on the door.

"Hey Mon it's me. Do you need anything?" he asked. He expected her to ignore him and was surprised when she opened the door. The sight of her broke her brother's heart. Her red, puffy eyes and tear stains were not even the worst part. She just looked broken, as if someone had taken all the life out of her.

"Ross, it's almost six. Can you go to the hotel and let everyone know that the wedding isn't going to happen? I just can't- I just can't face anyone right now," she said as her voiced cracked.

Ross pulled her into a tight hug and rubbed her back carefully. "Yeah, I'll take care of it. Don't worry about that at all, okay?" He felt her nodding into his chest and continued to hold her for a little bit. Knowing he had to get going, he kissed the top of her head and pulled away from her. "I love you Mon. I meant it yesterday when I said that you were the best sister a guy could ask for."

"Thanks Ross," she smiled weakly. "And you're the best brother I could have asked for." He smiled at her, hugged her again quickly, and left to take care of the wedding guests.

* * *

Chandler looked at the door to his apartment. He had been standing there for about ten minutes, just staring at the door. It was time to face Monica. He knew there was a chance that in the next hour he could lose everything important to him. The longer he stood in the hallway, the longer he could convince himself that everything was going to be okay. That she would still love him and forgive him for taking off. 

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. When he didn't see her, he shut the door lightly so that it barely made a sound. As he looked around the room his eyes rested on the phone. She had disconnected it, probably to avoid the million and one calls that her mother was sure to make.

Suddenly the door to their bedroom opened and Monica walked out, heading toward the bathroom. It took her a moment to notice Chandler, but when she did she froze in her tracks. The two stood still, neither talking, both just staring at each other. He waited for her to yell at him. Waited for her to scream, tell him that she hated him. But all she did was stand there, with a look of shock on her face. He took that as a promising sign, and when he saw that she had nothing to say, he began to talk. "Monica ... oh Mon, I–"

"Don't, Chandler," she cut him off, as tears started pouring out of her already red eyes. Chandler swallowed hard, trying to keep himself from crying too. This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, and he had ruined it. He had hurt the person that he loved most in the world, and the guilt was eating him alive.

He couldn't bear to see her like that any longer, crying and hurt. All he wanted to do was hold her, tell her how sorry he was, tell her that it would be okay. Suddenly aware of all the distance between them, he started to walk towards her.

"Don't!" she said shrilly, freezing him in place. "I don't want you near me!"

There it was. Her anger was beginning to show. At her refusal to even let him near her, his heart constricted in his throat. He had to make her forgive him. He just had to. "Mon, I'm so, so sorry," he told her sincerely.

Surprisingly, Monica started laughing. But it wasn't her everyday, carefree laugh. It was a sarcastic laugh, laced with bitterness and anger. It shook Chandler to his very core.

"Oh, you're sorry?" she finally replied. "Thank God! I mean, I didn't think we were going to make it through this, but you're sorry? Well, that just changes everything!"

The heavy sarcasm in her voice stung him, but not as much as her words. She didn't think they were going to make it through this? Since he couldn't find anything to say that would make her understand, he remained silent.

Monica just shook her head. "I can't deal with this right now. Goodbye, Chandler," she said, with anger still in her voice, as she turned around and headed toward her room.

Chandler felt a desperation inside of him that he had never felt before. "Mon!" he pleaded, not knowing what exactly he was pleading for. For her to turn around. For her to forgive him. For her not to leave him. For anything and everything.

She turned around, fury dancing in her eyes. "No, Chandler. You don't get to beg. You have no right to beg for my forgiveness!" she shouted.

At that moment, Chandler realized the implications of everything he had done. She might never forgive him. He might have just lost the woman he loved. Tears started to gather in his eyes. He was so overcome with emotion that he couldn't talk. He knew that if he tried, he would just start crying.

Monica's anger slowly faded as she watched him. She had seen Chandler at the lowest of his lows, and yet she couldn't remember a time when he seemed more dejected. Even after he had stood her up on her wedding day, it didn't make her feel good to cause him pain. When he hurt, she hurt. She sighed and her voice softened. "Oh Chandler," she began. "Why did you come here? What did you expect from me?"

He met her inquiring gaze and considered her question. Had he really expected her to forgive him? "I expected you to understand," he finally answered with a wavering voice.

She shook her head and moved closer to him. "Don't do this. Don't turn this around and place the blame on me. That's not fair."

"I know," he said softly. He watched her inch closer to him, and when she was right in front of him he looked down, not able to meet her gaze. "I just ... I wasn't ready."

He felt her put her hand on his cheek, and he immediately looked up at her in surprise. Resisting the urge to reciprocate the action, worried that he would scare her away, he simply reveled in her touch.

"You were ready, Chandler," he heard her reply with conviction. "If you weren't ready, you wouldn't have proposed. If you weren't ready, you would have talked to me about it before our wedding day. If you weren't ready, you would have confronted me today instead of running away. No Chandler, you were just scared. You let your fear run your mind and convince you that getting married would only cause you pain in the end. But if you just listened to your heart, you would have realized that we could have been happy. Really happy, Chandler." She looked away from him, knowing that her next words would hurt her as much as they would hurt him. "And now you'll never know. You'll never get a chance to find out. At least not with me."

"No!" he cried with anguish and held her close to him, afraid that if he let her go she would be out of his life forever. "We'll get through this, Mon. I'll make it up to you, I swear!"

She pulled back a little and looked into his eyes. The fear and desperation she saw in them made her tears begin to fall again. "You can't fix this, Chandler," she said sadly. "You hurt me. You humiliated me in front of my family and friends." Monica took his hand and placed it on the left side of her chest. "And worst of all, you broke my heart," she said, finishing with a squeak.

Chandler never hated himself more than at that moment. She was right. He didn't deserve another chance. Not after all that he had done to her. But he just couldn't let her end this. He needed her. How could he survive without her? She made his days worth living. "I love you," he tried, not knowing what else to say.

She smiled slightly and leaned in to kiss him. As he felt her lips on his, his heart soared. Had he done it? Had he gotten her to forgive him? The kiss, though, was not a kiss of absolution. It was a kiss of desperation. A goodbye kiss. When this realization hit him, he responded as desperately as she had started, expressing everything he was feeling at the moment. Knowing that this would be the last time he felt her soft lips.

Eventually Monica pushed him away, ending the kiss. "Goodbye, Chandler," she said quickly and ran to their bedroom, knowing she couldn't hold her sobs in for long. He could hear her crying mere seconds after she closed the door. Walking quietly to the bedroom door, he pressed himself against it and listened to her sob. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he cried along with her.

Forcing himself away from the door, he finally walked into the kitchen and out of the apartment.

* * *

So there you have it. Review and let me know what you think :) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Diclaimer:** I don't own Friends. But if I did I'd give you a dollar.

**Author's Note:** Sorry for all the angst, but I have to torture them before I can make them happy. Feel free to review, let me know if I should continue ;)

* * *

Moments after his encounter with Monica, Chandler opened the door to apartment 19 to see Rachel and Joey sitting on the yellow couch. Joey was shocked to see his best friend in such a broken state, and automatically felt sympathy for Chandler. Rachel, however, was not as sympathetic. She knew that Monica was across the hall, probably crying her eyes out. Leaping off the couch she yelled, "Where the hell were you? How could you do that do her?" 

The encounter with Monica had completely drained Chandler. He didn't have the energy to defend himself. Even if he did, he knew that he didn't deserve to be defended. "Not now Rachel, okay?"

Before Rachel could continue her attack, Joey jumped into the conversation. "What happened, man? Have you talked to Monica yet?"

Chandler nodded and looked down. "Yeah. I think- I think it's over. We're over." His voice cracked at those words and tears fell down his face. It hurt him deeply to say those words out loud. It was like admitting that this nightmare was real. He had lost Monica.

"Dude, I'm so sorry," Joey said softly, but made no move to hug his friend. He could sense that his friend didn't want comfort just yet. "You can stay here until you get everything worked out."

"Thanks man," Chandler replied. It was probably a bad idea to stay so close to Monica, but he was somewhat comforted at the thought that she'd be nearby.

"Stay in my room. I'll stay at Monica's," Rachel said. When Chandler looked at her gratefully, she narrowed her eyes. "Don't thank me. I'm staying there because honestly, I can't stand the sight of you right now. And besides, I don't think that Monica should be alone."

Rachel went into her room, grabbed a few days worth of clothes, and headed out the door. "I'll bring some of your clothes by later," she told him before leaving the room.

Once she had left, Joey and Chandler stood in silence. "Do you ... do you want to talk about it?" Joey asked, hoping his friend would open up.

Chandler shook his head. "I just want to be alone."

"Alright. Are you going to be okay?" Joey asked.

Pausing a moment before answering, Chandler said, "No, Joe." Before Joey could respond, Chandler went into Rachel's room and slammed the door.

* * *

Joey looked worriedly at the doorto Rachel's room. Two days. It had been two days and Chandler had hardly moved from the room. He just laid on the bed in sweats, staring at the ceiling. He never went to eat, and Joey took it upon himself to bring Chandler food. This was the worst Phase One that Joey had ever seen. He couldn't even imagine a Phase Two in the near future. An angry knocking on the door startled Joey. "Chandler! Chandler, open up, I know you're in there!" he heard Ross's voice shout. 

Joey's anxiety increased as Ross's knocking became more insistent. He had hoped that Ross would eventually give up and go away, but it didn't seem like that was the case. He was going to have to find a way to diffuse this situation. Chandler couldn't deal with Ross right now.

Opening the door, Joey put his hands on Ross's shoulders to restrain him. "Look, Ross, you can yell at Chandler some other time, okay? Now's not a good time."

Before Ross could angrily respond, a voice from behind them said, "It's okay, Joe. Let him go."

They both were surprised to see Chandler standing there. Joey was shocked that Chandler had come out of his room, and Ross was startled at the sight of Chandler. He looked like he had aged ten years in two days.

"Hit me, Ross," Chandler demanded. "Go on, hit me. You promised me an ass-kicking if I hurt you sister, and I did. So hit me." He wanted Ross to beat him within an inch of his life. Not only did he feel that he deserved the punishment, but he also hoped that the physical pain would force him to forget about his emotional distress.

Ross didn't know how to react. Seeing the broken man in front of him, he wanted nothing less at the moment than to hit Chandler. "I guess I don't have to. It looks like you've beat yourself up enough," Ross muttered. Joey just looked at him gratefully.

"If I knew you were going to wuss out on me, I wouldn't have cancelled my date with Mike Tyson," Chandler stated while rolling his eyes. "Did you just come from Monica's?" Ross nodded. "How is she?" Chandler asked with concern.

"Terrible. That's what inspired me to come over here to kick your ass. I couldn't stand to see her like that." Ross took a perverse pleasure in seeing Chandler's pain at those words. Chandler _should _feel guilty for what he did to Monica. Maybe next time he would think twice before hurting his sister. "And my parents certainly haven't been helping."

"What happened?" Chandler asked, his brow furrowing with worry.

"Oh well you know my mother," he shrugged. Imitating Judy's voice, he said, "God Monica, I always knew you wouldn't be able to hold down a man. Are you really surprised that he ran away before he was tied down to you? At least the poor boy got away before it was too late."

For the first time in two days, Chandler felt something besides numbness. He felt anger. "How could she say that?" Chandler asked furiously. Hadn't Monica been through enough?

"So I guess you're the only one who's allowed to hurt my sister, then?" Ross asked curtly. He was just as angry at his mother as Chandler was, but he wasn't about to let Chandler forget that he had created this whole mess.

"And you're really one to talk about wedding etiquette, Mr. I-said-the-wrong-name-at-the-alter!" Chandler replied, and then immediately regretted it. The last thing he wanted to do was alienate Ross. He couldn't help it though. His sarcastic nature that he had relied on for so long as a defense mechanism just kicked in instinctively. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," he tried to apologize.

Ross didn't acknowledge the apology and just glared at Chandler. "If you go near my sister ever again, I will kill you," he said icily and left the apartment in a huff.

When Ross left, Chandler just felt drained again. "I'm going to go back to my room," he muttered to Joey.

"Okay, is there anything you need?" Joey asked hopefully, wishing there was someone he could ease the pain of his friend.

"Monica," Chandler choked out. "I need Monica."

As he saw his friend starting to break down, Joey ran over to hug him. "I know, man. I know," he said soothingly, knowing his words were of little comfort to Chandler.

* * *

**5 Days Later**

A week had passed since the day of the non-wedding and Chandler was still in what Joey had dubbed as "Phase One." Even though he was still in a depression and had yet to leave the apartment, Chandler managed to leave his (or Rachel's) bedroom for short periods of time during the day. On this particular day, he was sitting on Joey's lounge chair and watching T.V. unenthusiastically when he heard a light knock on the door. Chandler's forehead wrinkled in confusion as he wondered who it could be. Joey wasn't home, but he wouldn't knock to get into his own apartment. All the rest of his friends refused to see him, so it couldn't have been one of them, unless it was Rachel to get more clothes. But Rachel wouldn't knock either.

He got up from his chair to answer the door. When he opened it, shock registered on his face. It was the person he had least expected.

"Monica," he breathed, too shocked to say anything else. He hadn't seen her in a week, since the day they were supposed to get married. That was the longest he had gone without seeing her in ten years. He had missed her so much. His eyes took in her worn figure, but the only thought running through his head was how beautiful she looked.

"Um ... can I come in?" she asked awkwardly. Monica had been standing in the hall for a minute now, watching him stare at her with a dazed look in his eye.

Chandler shook himself from his daze and smiled. "Of course, come in," he said sheepishly.

She smiled slightly at him and went into the apartment, standing by the kitchen counter. The sight of him had made her heart race. Yet she was surprised at how weary he looked. He was in his sweats, with his hair disheveled, bags under his eyes and a few pounds thinner. He looked how she felt.

"Have you been taking care of yourself?" she inquired, immediately berating herself. She wasn't supposed to care about him anymore, not after he had hurt her so badly. As much as she tried, though, she couldn't hate him.

He walked over to the opposite side of the counter and sat on one of the stools. "Well you know, I haven't really been eating. I guess I'm too depressed for even the good ice cream," he said lightly, trying to make a joke. "Besides, you've spoiled me by cooking for me all the time. I've forgotten how to order food."

She just frowned, finding no humor in the situation at all. "Have the others been by to see you?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Uh, no, not really. Well, Ross came by to yell at me once, and Rachel brings me clothes every once and a while, but that's pretty much it. Joey's been really great, though. I guess I really don't deserve their sympathy after what I did," he said looking down.

"They're still your friends," she said softly. "They shouldn't be ignoring you like this."

At her words, Chandler forced himself to look into her eyes. He was touched by her concern. Here was the person who had every right to hate him, and yet she didn't. She cared that he didn't look good, and she cared that his friends had abandoned him.

His mind wandered to the events that took place last week. How could he have stood her up at the wedding? How could he have been so stupid as to hurt the one person who loved him unconditionally? How could he have let go of the most wonderful woman he'd ever met? These questions, along with others, plagued him nonstop since that fateful day, and all he could do in response was hate himself.

"So, what brings you here?" he asked quickly with a smile, trying to change the subject. His smile immediately vanished at the uneasy expression on her face. He could tell he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

Monica cleared her throat and pulled off her engagement ring. She looked at it for a second before she held it out to him. "I came to give this back to you," she whispered.

Chandler's eyes went wide and he felt himself struggling to breathe. "You ... you what?" he asked weakly. He realized that if she gave the ring back to him, their break-up was final. As long as she wore or even kept the ring, he could believe that she still wanted a future with him. That they would one day get back together, look back upon this whole incident, and laugh. Even when she had broken up with him the other day, he didn't believe in his heart that it was over. Once she gave the ring back, though, that was it. He couldn't hold on to his hope that she would one day want to be with him again.

When he refused to take the ring, she placed it on the counter. "It's for the best, Chandler," she told him, reciting the speech that she had told herself many times. "Neither of us are going to be able to move on unless I give this back to you."

"Move on?" he choked. "Is that what this is about? Have you met someone else? Did you decide to go back to Richard?" he asked panicked.

"No, no, of course not," she soothed. "But we're over, Chandler. We have to accept that. And neither of us are going to accept that as long as I still have your ring."

"Maybe it's that easy for you to stop loving me," he said while gritting his teeth. "But giving me a ring back isn't going to make me stop loving you!"

She shook her head. "That not what I meant, Chandler." Her hands instinctively moved to his face. "I love you Chandler. I can't remember a time when I didn't love you. And I know that I always will love you."

"Then don't give up on us," he said passionately, grabbing her hands in his. "We can make it, Monica. Fight for us."

"No, no. I can't!" she cried out and pushed away from him.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Because I can't trust you! You hurt me too badly," she told him. "And say I take you back, Chandler. Then what? If we were to ever plan to marry, I would wonder every single day whether or not you're going to run away again. And what if you do run away, Chandler? That almost killed me once. I wouldn't survive if it happened again. I can't let myself go through this again, I can't and I won't!"

"I won't run away again," he said with conviction. Chandler tried to pull Monica into a hug to ease her distress, but she recoiled away from him.

"I have to ... I have to go," she said tiredly, knowing that if she stayed any longer she might give in to him. Without another word she hastily exited the apartment.

He stared at the spot where she had just been and then stared at the ring on the counter. He picked it up gingerly and promised himself that one day it would be back on her finger, exactly where it belonged. He would win back her trust somehow, because the alternative--- well, the alternative was just unthinkable.

**TBC**

* * *

So let me know what you think. 


End file.
